First, I do NOT know what I'm doing most days, a lot are recently focused on survival. Thankful for God's grace and that His mercies are new every morning. I do get angry, I do unfortunately raise my voice
A real life glimpse of my kids -
Child 1 - Bryce (8) - our guinea pig, strong-willed galore, glad that he was the first when I had the most time and energy. When almost 2 - 5 yrs old we spent most days disciplining with "the rod" a couple times a day and only occasionally do now. Those days were long, exhausting, head-butting, heal digging kind of days if you know what I mean. Early bed time consequences seem to be more effective now. When he was disrespectful with words, we use what we call "sassy sauce." Went through 3 types of liquids before finding the fourth winner. Tabasco was hot but yummy, vinegar tasted like water, soap was ok, but the Sririacha hot chili sauce....that one got a reaction. Thankfully he only had to learn that lesson a couple times. Consistency paid off and he has become a respectful (most days), marches to his own drum, loves the Lord, adores reptiles and animals of any kind, needs words of affirmation, watching things grow kind of child. He will still say NO and pitch a fit to anything we say we are planning to do that day even if it's a favorite activity just to put up a fight, but we've learned to ignore it and by the time he gets there he's having fun. We've also learned when he misbehaves now there is deeper root issue, like something happening at school or with friends. So we ask before jumping on the discipline and that can open the door to a lot of things.
Child 2 - Stacy (6) - our sleep lover, finger sucker, fairly compliant, gets super silly when tired and has a contagious giggle....to everyone else. We only have had to use "the rod" occasionally and it's usually from a sibling conflict. Tabasco works just fine when she gets a little sassy which tends to occur in the late afternoon when tired because the girl could still nap if we let her. Stacy adds a little drama to the picture, has lots of friends, gets lots of invites, needs people, high heels and twirly skirts are her love language, needs to recap her day each day and gets testy if she doesn't get in her talk time, monkey bar swinging kind of girl. Pretty much every thing her mommy isn't except the sleep lover and well I use to swing on bars in gymnastics.
Child 3- Jay (3) - our vibrant, active, loud, fruit snack devourer, m&m's up the nose, always moving, loves to help, constantly getting into things little monkey. When it's quiet we usually have to ask, "where is Jay?" Otherwise the bathroom might be flooded, legos dumped everywhere, or rice krispies all over the kitchen floor. He is LOUD and we are constantly asking him to lower his voice or be quiet. Most stores know who we are because of some of the things they see him do. "The Rod" is effective but he quickly forgets so we use it a few times a day. Haven't had to use "sassy sauce" yet, but that time is coming. I have to really make sure he does things to get his energy out. The boy learned to ride a bike without training wheels at 2 1/2 and his longest ride so far is 10 miles. That day he was a wee bit calmer. He is a mama's boy and Kena's homecoming rocked his
Child 4 - Kena (2) - our happy dancer, beautiful smiler, sympathetic, jibber jabberer, swing lover, timid, strong-willed, and well.....typical 2 yr old. She loves to be held and hop on my lap if I ever sit down, plays with dolls, fascinated by dogs and scared of Jay for good reason. She is usually compliant and quiet when daddy is around, but seems to cry more if it's just me. She can have quite the attitude and dig her heels in when she wants, unfortunately we've seen this 3 other times and have low tolerance for it. "This is not new to us" is a frequently used phrase. She loves to color, help clean, and is great at picking up toys. She is an awesome sleeper, in fact I've never had to get up with her once since she's been home. She loves meeting new people and is really friendly with them and says good-bye whenever she leaves somewhere about a gazillion times. She'll also say thank you and you're welcome in the same sentence when we give her things. Love having her in our family and can't wait to get to know more about her.
Now that you're tired of reading so much, hopefully you have a glimpse into the lives of my 4 completely different kiddos. Some days I love that they're different because it challenges me on how to meet 4 (5 including David) needs or how to address each of them in a way they might respond best. Some days I hate it because I don't feel like thinking....those days just seem to get worse because I don't try. The ONE thing I do know is that making light of things or using distractions to diffuse a situation really works best if I am the one willing to undig my heels. My husband is GREAT at this although part of me wonders if that's because he's not around them all day. Hmmmm....
I would love to hear your parenting highs and lows, different things about your kids or things you really have found helpful over the years.
It's hard to have a girl who is a mini-me, isn't it? :) Jocelyn is definitely mine! And, yep, I can relate to Jay. My world: rocked.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to meet Kena!!!